..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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