just survived the first fart of the relationship.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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