My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
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