I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
