Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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