i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
