to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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