so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
