And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
