wat bout pragnant strippers??
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
