oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
