is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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