It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
