but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
