Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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