i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she peed on how many people?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
