shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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