dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
