I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
how drunk are you?
Several
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
