i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
