ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
