I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
