I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
