Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
