it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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