he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
