After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
