i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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