Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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