Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
