the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
