how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
