i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
