You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You brought string cheese to the strip club
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
