no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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