There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
