watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
