brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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