I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
