This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
