He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
