very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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