the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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