One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
