With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
