We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
