you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
