she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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