did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
