I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
a search helicopter?!
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
