Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
