I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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